The Digital Chronicles.
Image location: Finland.
“There was a spring when the first anemones bloomed. And I looked at their beauty without seeing it. When you lose a beloved, all that is beautiful disappears. I rejoice each spring when I take note of the first flowers.”
~ Maria Lehtman
Love is a two-edged sword. Love without strings attached is a misunderstood concept. You are not a puppet, nor is love a tie. It is a bond beyond anything a human being can understand. A broken bond never disappears, but you can be shielded from it, you can heal – never hide.
Forgive – forget not.
The most difficult challenge with love is that you need to learn both sides of the coin at the same time. We gain nothing without sacrifice. I have often heard a phrase: Women forgive but never forget. Men forget but do not forgive. It is a generalization – a lazy explanation of a process that is personal and unique to every individual.
I learned to forgive the hard way. Either I punished myself for not forgiving or both were suffering. There is not a way to not forgive and still heal. The process gets more complicated when the loved one is lost – passed on. The bond remains. I wonder how many people are aware of it. After a while, it becomes a blind spot.
Sometimes it takes decades to let a beloved one to go. I tend not to ask for a memory to be lost, only for forgiveness to take place. Why?
Because I always felt that no matter the circumstance, here or in the world beyond, people may need that window of return. And secondly, because the experience has taught me valuable lessons. They allow me to recover and be wiser next time around. It is never too late to learn, and never too late to heal.
When we create a digital footprint – it becomes a legacy that can live longer than we do. According to the Digital Beyond, an online legacy planning company, millions of Facebook’s ca. 1.5 billion users are already dead. The dead will outnumber the living in a decade. After reading the statistics, I made sure I had a person assigned to close my legacy, if in case…
On the other hand, many want to keep the memories alive: images of family reunions, celebrations. We tend to share our cherished moments – even if our shares represent only a few minutes of an otherwise uneventful or even a bad day.
Do you want to be remembered as the “angry guy”?
A friend of mine recently told me that he had to stop using Twitter because his child said one day that he became this angry guy online. He realized he was using the tool to offload frustrations for bad service experiences and sending out complaints.
I don’t think we need to portray false experiences or misguided ones. Being authentic is important. Being protective of our loved ones is also a key aspect of social maturity. However, I also feel that we should treat our digital footprint like any other legacy we want to leave behind. It becomes our identity – so how do we want to be remembered?
If the word beloved were “carved” on my digital tombstone, I would be satisfied with that. There’s nothing else to add. A few people can attain that level of trust and love. These are the people I always want to forgive and never forget.
“Silent solitude makes true speech possible and personal. If I am not in touch with my own belovedness, then I cannot touch the sacredness of others. If I am estranged from myself, I am likewise a stranger to others.”
Ref. Weekly Photo-Challenge by Daily Post: Beloved